If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
