No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize