I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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