Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
