Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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