I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
