just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
