Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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