i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Please don't give away my fajitas
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