I just threw up on my dentist
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
