how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
