this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
