Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
