Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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