she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am one with the molecules
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
