i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
