Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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