you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
