Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
