Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
