wrigley field is MILF paradise
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
