But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
