Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
