she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize