Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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