What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
