I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
