I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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