i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
