I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Less talking, more tequila
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
