you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
