Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize