WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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