You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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