you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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