Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Someone came in the potted fern
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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