I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
