I will die if light touches me.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My vagina just clenched in fear
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
