i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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