Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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