the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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