Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
