We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She's the barista slut.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
