i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
soo... how was my night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
