am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
