can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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