if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
