i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This is my gift to your gina
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
