seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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