covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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