and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
