I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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