I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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