I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
