I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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