I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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