hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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