so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
