you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
