Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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