Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
