sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
