ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize