So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
