A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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