Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize