So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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