the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
