her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's blow job season.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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