I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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