Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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